Sunday, April 08, 2007

Who killed the Dead Dog?

After 13 years of being the most notorious and most excellent party place in the MatSu the Dead Dog Saloon (AKA "Rainbow lake Lounge", AKA "Scatters", AKA Borealis Beach Club") will be closing their doors on Friday the 13th of April.

Jim and "Ms Lucky" Lisa will be hosting their last party this coming Friday and asked me to invite all their old friends to stop by for one last blow out.

As for who killed the Dead Dog, there are a few in the line up that I think a finger (I won't say which one) could be pointed at. George W. Bush and his Quest for Oil in the sand and sun of Iraq certainly played a part. Inflated gas prices made many choose between a night out dancing and drinking and filling the tank with gas, come to think of it the price of a full tank of gas in most rigs could pay for several nights drinking at the Dead Dog. Thanks Dubya, thats another one I owe ya.

The Alaska State Troopers certainly played a role in the demise of the Dog. For some reason they have maintained a close watch on the Dead Dog for many years. I used to watch them parking in the dark across the road when I drove a cab in the Valley, waiting like an old west highway man for a hapless victim to forget to signal or any other legally intercessionable infraction as they departed the Dead Dog. The death knell could be heard tolling it's sorrowful chime when the AST decided that the land directly behind the Dead Dog Saloon was a good place to put an Alaska State Trooper Sub Station, assuring that the patrons would feel their hot breath on them as they tried to forget the multitude of other oppressions heaped on them over a cold beer after work.

The irony (there always has to some irony, doesn't there?) is that Lisa sold the land where the AST put their lair in an attempt to breath new life into the old Dog and instead hastened its final demise.

The Dead Dog Saloon is for sale, (see http://alaskahome.info) perhaps it would make a good "Cop Bar" where the Boys in Blue could gather after a hard days crime fighting to toast their domination over the evildoers, potheads and small business persons. But more than likely some BushCo Oil company will buy the acreage and put another Gas Station Multimart on the corner, or it will just stand empty, a silent monument to an Alaska that once was where Men could smoke and drink and be merry and Women could entice them out of their massive, ah, paychecks with sly smiles and bared breasts.

The Right Wing Fundamentalists will no doubt have a rousing prayer meeting come Sunday, knowing that the Dead Dog Saloon is just one of many dominoes falling before the onslaught of puritanical viewpoints that lead them to believe they have the right and obligation to dictate how others should live. The Silver Fox, 4 Corners and other Valley watering holes are feeling the same tight vise around their balls that brought down the Dead Dog.

So lets make sure that when they are rising their sacramental wine in a toast to their victory over the free thinkers, dope smokers and bike riders they remember that we can still turn out in mass when one of our fellows falls, and make this Friday the 13th the good old fashioned Irish wake that will give the wine sippers nightmares for Months.

Let's make sure that while Jim and Lisa get a righteous send off and drain the taps, empty the wine racks and party till the law says we have to stop! (that's still 5 Am, for now) Soon they will be saying we can't even start.

This editorial contains the views of this writer, and if you don't like them reach around behind you and grasp that big stick and pull hard before someone else grabs it and pushes.
1994 - 2007

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